My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
is wine microwaveable?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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