dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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