You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
my poor anus
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
