bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
