apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
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I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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