this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
