East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Randomize
