Having a random hookup so left but love u
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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