last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
