4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
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