you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
And then the night went full on bisexual.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
