I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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