Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.

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  (847): the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker. http://tfl.nu/4drl
  Replies (13) Good night (2085) Bad night (845)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.

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  (203): No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket. http://tfl.nu/3z5u
  Replies (31) Good night (871) Bad night (2501)
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  (212): View more from New York

  Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.

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  (212): Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it. http://tfl.nu/q1v1
  Replies (67) Good night (3454) Bad night (750)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.

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  (859): Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time. http://tfl.nu/xhpk
  Replies (45) Good night (956) Bad night (2435)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  no. you can't hotbox the world.

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  (973): no. you can't hotbox the world. http://tfl.nu/5as3
  Replies (54) Good night (5505) Bad night (989)
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  (862): View more from New Jersey

  Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside

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  (862): Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside http://tfl.nu/iwzn
  Replies (23) Good night (1384) Bad night (5580)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  someone was throwing condoms at us.

  (1-401): View more from Rhode Island

  no, they just magically show up around you.

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  (401): someone was throwing condoms at us. (1-401): no, they just magically show up around you. http://tfl.nu/lgd4
  Replies (8) Good night (4025) Bad night (972)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music

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  (303): Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music http://tfl.nu/qvs5
  Replies (9) Good night (1021) Bad night (3220)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?

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  (507): security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs? http://tfl.nu/7ki8
  Replies (5) Good night (2523) Bad night (1022)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here

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  (614): Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here http://tfl.nu/czu0
  Replies (13) Good night (3306) Bad night (1120)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.

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  (+44): I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it. http://tfl.nu/jqgn
  Replies (4) Good night (1709) Bad night (1267)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.

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  (713): Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away. http://tfl.nu/vae8
  Replies (5) Good night (1815) Bad night (593)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.

  (330): View more from Ohio

  She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.

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  (330): Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything. (330): She kept telling me it was a squirtgun. http://tfl.nu/3tf4
  Replies (3) Good night (559) Bad night (1212)
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  (310): View more from California

  Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.

  (310): View more from California

  It's the best of both worlds

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  (310): Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor. (310): It's the best of both worlds http://tfl.nu/n8mo
  Replies (6) Good night (857) Bad night (564)
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  (914): View more from New York

  I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious

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  (914): I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious http://tfl.nu/lv2e
  Replies (3) Good night (687) Bad night (266)

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