Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
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She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
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Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?