when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?