I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
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OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
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I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
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