Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.