dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.