Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
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I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.