Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
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