i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious