I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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