I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
