I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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