his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
