trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
