we have pet lesbian snakes
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
