I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
