tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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