Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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