I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
