if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
