i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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