My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize