she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
