ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
