then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
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