Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
God, you're like boner-b-gone
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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