Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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