if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
they're like a gay fantastic four
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
