hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
