Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
