He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Randomize
