Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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