is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
