oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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