I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Semen is not good for contacts.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
