So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
