please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
