HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
