Can Purell be used as lube?
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
