You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I want a musical about memes.
how does that bad decision feel?
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