If i come over, it means nothing
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
