Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
