Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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