This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
