I feel like abortions should bother me more
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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