I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
