It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize