is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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