Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I pour the whiskey from now on
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
