I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
