she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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