I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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