that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
