A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
