I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
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