I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
