Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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