Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
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He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
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Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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