She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
COCAINE IS GR8
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
