Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
