we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
40s are totally the cure
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
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