I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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