My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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